How Not to Propose
by Smiley612
Summary: Ally isn't like other girls, so this can't be like any other proposal. / / Austin and his many failed proposals. AxA. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Austin & Ally or** anything **ok**  
Pairing: **Austin Moon/Ally Dawson**  
Warning: **Few curse words and other things.**  
Note: **I'm new to A&A fanfiction, so I apologize if this isn't what you wanted and poisoned the archive for you. I got the idea from reading a fic of the same name in the Sonny With a Chance FF archive; I loved the idea, and I saw the cover for this fic and I just immiadtely got inspriation. So I hope you enjoy my first Austin & Ally oneshot, because I know I will. Paige, you out there?

* * *

**Hire a skywriter to write "Will you marry me?" in the sky.**

"What am I supposed to be looking at?" Ally wondered, lacing her hand into Austin's. The couple had been going strong for eight years now, and Austin figured it was time to tie the knot and propose to his long-term girlfriend.

Ally wasn't like other girls, so it couldn't be one of those other proposals. It had to be special. And Austin Moon is an _expert_ at special.

"Just keep looking," he told her, lying on the grass with his girlfriend, waiting for the guy he hired to write the phrase in the sky. It wasn't cheap, but he figured Ally was worth it. Besides, it was better than just going down on one knee.

He heard Ally inhale, and he knew that she was growing impatient. They'd be lying here for almost an hour; most of the time, they'd just talked and kissed, but Austin was secretly panicking. What if his skywriter crashed the plane? He didn't have a ring. Would his day to propose, the most beautiful day of summer, be ruined?

"Don't worry, Als," he said, kissing her cheek. "Don't you like just lying here, watching the clouds? I know you love cloud watching."

"That _is_ true," she said, craning her neck to look around. "But it's so hot. Can't we go inside?" Ally pleaded, beginning to sit up, but Ally pushed her back down.

"No, no," he stated, attempting to hide the smile forming on his face.

"Why? There's nothing important to see right now, is there?" she asked, and Austin mentally started to panic. As she raised her eyebrows, Austin could detect a hint of knowledge, like she knew something was going on. He hoped to God that his plan wasn't ruined.

"Not really," he covered, taking a deep breath as he laid back against the grass. "Just the clouds...and the trees...and the birds..."

"Ooh!" Ally exclaimed, sitting up so fast Austin couldn't push her back down. "Speaking of birds, look at that one in the trees. Aww, it looks just like Owen! ... Austin?"

Ally's mood changed so suddenly that even he was surprised. "What?" he asked. From the corner of his eye, he saw the word "Will" being formed in the sky, and Austin's face lit up like the Christmas Tree in New York City.

"Did you let Owen out of his cage again?" she growled, her brown eyes igniting with flames.

"What?" he questioned, trying to look around Ally's body to see if his message was being formed. Sure enough, the words "You" "Marry" and "Me" were now clouds in the sky. "No!" he announced. "Ally, could you look around for me?"

"No, Austin!" she exclaimed. "That bird in the trees looks _exactly_ like Owen!"

"I didn't let him out!"

"Well, I'm going to go check, and if Owen isn't in his cage, you're in big trouble."

Austin sighed, pushing himself off the grass and pacing, waiting for Ally to come back while watching his message in the sky fade away at the same time. If Ally didn't come back soon, the message would be gone and his proposal would be ruined!

Soon enough, Ally came back out of the house, a smile on her face. "I'm sorry, Austin," she apologized. "Owen was in his cage, safe and sound. I'm sorry I doubted you." Austin smiled, and started to look around, but Ally wasn't finished. "I should have trusted you. Will you forgive me?"

"Yeah of course I will," he rushed his words, hugging her quickly, and as he embraced her, Austin heard Ally say, "Aw, someone just got married!"

"What do you mean?" Austin let go of the hug, turning around, to see his message still in the sky; Ally thought it was meant for someone else. Austin had to resist the urge to run away and jump off a cliff in embarrassment.

"Aw, how great for them. But a skywriter must have cost a lot of money, right? Man, that would be nice."

He mentally face-palmed.

* * *

**Play Hangman and have the phrase be "Marry Me."**

"Well then, where do you want to go?" He yells at her, turning the car around a corner.

"I don't know!" she yells back, her arms flailing.

"Just _decide_!"

"I don't know! Olive Garden!"

Austin snorted. Ally crossed her arms and asked, "What's so bad about Olive Garden?"

"Ally, if I wanted to eat Italian food, I'd take you to a _real_ Italian restaurant."

She sighed. As Austin waited at a red light, he stated, "We obviously can't decide as a couple, so I'll make the decision. IHOP! The International House of Pancakes!" When Ally remained silent, he continued. "What? I know you like IHOP, don't try to say otherwise." He hears her laugh, and when her head is facing the window, Austin quickly placed his hand to his pocket to make sure the ring was still there; if his plan went as followed, they would become engaged today.

"Hey, look at that!" Austin cheers, turning the volume on his car radio up all the way. His song was blasting from the speakers once again. "I'm on the radio!"

He saw Ally roll her eyes with a smirk on her face in the seat right next to his. "Austin, we're almost there. Can you turn down the volume now?"

"Nope!" he yelled, turning the volume up, hoping to everything good and holy that the radio didn't break. He tried to hide the smile forming on his face; even though his last attempt at a creative proposal failed, he was about to try again. He brought the car into the parking lot of the IHOP, and, being the gentleman he is, ran around to Ally's door to open it for her, and she took his hand gratefully.

"Ready to eat?" he questions, and Ally shrugged. "Why aren't you excited or happy? IHOP is a great place, you know. Good things happen in there every day." When Ally raised her eyebrows, Austin decided he was pushing his luck; he led his girlfriend (or should he say, to-be-fiancée) into the restaurant.

A woman led them to a table, and Ally thanked her. Austin and Ally sat down across from each other in the table they were seated at; Austin couldn't help but smile at how beautiful Ally looked today. It had been many years since they were 17; Ally's caramel streaks had been gone for a long time. Her brown hair rested on her shoulders, her princess curls making her glowing brown eyes stand out. Her short nails held the menu delicately, unpainted like they usually were. Austin released a tiny smile, not even thinking about the woman standing beside him, ready to take his order.

He ordered a stack of pancakes, of course, and Ally ordered a grilled cheese sandwich. "Hey, hon," Austin called to get her attention. "You want to play a game of hangman?" he asked, flipping the sheet of paper, that usually sat in front of them, over.

"Austin, our food is coming soon!" she explained. Austin could already see that this would be just as hard as the sky-writer idea.

"Yeah, well a game of hangman won't hurt!" he tried to persuade her. He put on his best puppy dog eyes; as soon as she saw them, she was a goner.

"Oh, fine," she caved, and Austin silently celebrated. "But I have to go first."

Austin's good mood seemed to evaporate as her words sunk in. There was no use persuading her; if he didn't agree, she'd probably be mad and wouldn't talk to him for the rest of the day just because he wouldn't let her play a game of hangman. Austin's proposal was already being ruined.

What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he propose to his girlfriend?

"Yeah, okay!" Austin stated enthusiastically. He forced a smile as Ally drew the basics for a game, and Austin's leg bobbed up and down continually as he waited. If she didn't finish soon, their food would come, and of course being Ally she wouldn't want to play as they ate. They'd leave as soon as they finished eating and Austin's special proposal would be ruined yet again.

After a few painful minutes of waiting, Ally announced, "Choose a letter."

"A".

By the time she finished writing in the letters, it looked like: A-_-_-_-_-_A-_-A-_-_-_-_. He already knew what the message was, but he figured it wouldn't hurt to play along.

"I."

The message was now: A-_-_-_I-_-A-_-A-_-I-_-_.

It only took a little while for the real message to be unlocked: A-L-L-Y-I-S-A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

"You cheated," Ally muttered under her breath, and Austin couldn't suppress a chuckle. He leaned over to check if their food was still cooking; and luckily, it was. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the paper from Ally and started to draw a new game: _-_-_-_-_-_-_.

"All right, Ally." Austin smiled, knowing this was the moment when his life was going to change. "Here we go. Guess a letter."

Of course, she guessed the vowels first; the message was very much exposed. _-A-_-_-Y-_E. Anyone could guess it is they had a brain.

"Keep going!" Austin encouraged, smiling wider and wider every time she guessed a letter. She had every letter except M now, and Austin's heart rate was accelerating by the second. By the time she guessed the letter H, Ally had a head, both arms, and a leg; if she guessed one more incorrect letter, his plan would be ruined.

"Hm..." Ally tapped her chin, and Austin's heart rate picked up again. _She knows. She knows what I'm going to do oh shit no I shouldn't have done it now I have to plan a bachelor party with Dez and Trish is going to have to stay by Ally's side with the whole wedding and I'll be a married man and the whole wedding and honeymoon and Ally is going to hate me—_

"CARRY ME**.**"

That jolted Austin back to reality. Blinking, he questioned, "What?"

"It's CARRY ME, right?" Ally asked, twisting the paper over to see the letters better. "I mean, just the other week, you fell over and had to have me carry you all the way back to the mall!" she laughed.

A war was raging in Austin's mind. One side was screaming, _JUST TELL HER YOU WANT TO MARRY HER!_ and the other was saying _SHE DOESN'T KNOW! SHE DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY YOU YET! LEAVE IT ALONE!_

"Um...no, it's not, actually. It's BARRY ME. You know, like you bury your feet at the beach."

"Ugh, Austin, you spelt it wrong!"

* * *

**Propose in French, the language of love.**

He knew he had to shut it down when he heard footsteps.

"Come on, you stupid fucking computer, close the damn program!" He cursed, shaking the monitor as he continually clicked the red X button. Ally was using the laptop in the other room; the only computer in their apartment that actually worked. As they had been dating for eight years, they were comfortable in living together, but Ally never once asked about marriage.

"Come _on_!" He complained, his heart rate quickening as the door to their bedroom opened. Twenty-five year old Austin didn't care if Ally saw him naked, so they didn't have a lock on the door, even though Austin wished to everything good and holy that they had one right now.

"Hey, Austin," Ally began to greet, just as the program on the slow dinosaur computer finally closed. "I'm going out for a little bit, all right? I'm just going to the supermarket to buy some food for the weekend. You alright here by yourself?"

"Yeah!" he said, too enthusiastically, trying to cover the computer screen, even though it showed no trace of Google Translate, the site he had just been on. He could tell that Ally was curious as to what he was just viewing, but instead she laughed, rolled her eyes, and left. "I'll see you later!" she called as he heard the door slam shut.

"Phew," he muttered, dramatically wiping sweat off his brow. He turned back to the computer, opened up Google Translate again, and set the languages from _English_ to _French_. A few days ago, Dez told him that Ally would think it would be _so romantic_ if Austin proposed in French, so for the past couple of days he'd spent his life learning the phrases he needed to.

He sighed, typing in the three words again. "_Je t'aime_," he repeated. "I love you. _Je t'aime_. Ally Dawson, _Je t'aime_."

He wrote the phrase on a piece of paper so he would remember it. Austin decided against taking a language in high school; now that he thinks about it, taking French would have been helpful.

Sighing, he looked back at the computer screen. He cursed under his breath, knowing this would take a long time. He types in the phrase "Will you marry me?" into the box and it comes up with "_Veux-tu m'épouser_?"

He repeats the phrase a couple of times in his head, out loud, and writes and re-writes it on the piece of paper he has. "Oh mon Dieu!" he muttered to himself, before running out of the bedroom, looking out the window, and confirming that Ally's grey car wasn't in the driveway. She was out — to the supermarket, apparently — and Austin knew that Ally liked to go all out when she stopped for food, so he had a while before she returned.

Obviously, Austin knew that he wouldn't learn the French language in an afternoon, but all he needed was a few phrases, and he was golden. So he spent the rest of the night on the computer, typing phrases in the computer and translating them to French; he did that for another week or two, until he was sure he had memorized the phrases he needed.

"_Bonne_," he said to himself, two weeks later, when he sees Ally walking in the front door after work. He felt the ring in his pocket really quickly, making sure it was still there — Dez had stolen the ring for a joke a few days ago — but now, with his phrases memorized, he knew this would go smoothly and he'd become engaged to the one and only Ally Dawson — or, Ally Moon.

If he was being honest with himself, it didn't really roll off the tongue smoothly. But his thoughts were cut short as his soon-to-be fiancée walked through the door.

"_Bonjour, Ally_!" he greeted, grabbing her arm and steering her into the living room.

Confused, Ally took a seat and asked, "Austin, what's up?" she asked, looking around the room, probably expecting Dez to come out of the curtains with a pie in his hand.

"_Non, non__, c'est bon_," Austin smiles, sitting down next to his girlfriend on the couch. "_Comment s'est passé le travail_?"

Her eyes narrow; Austin hopes she's translating his words. To his relief, she released a small smile. "Austin, I didn't know you could speak French!"

Austin smiled widely. "_Oui, je viens d'apprendre_!" He rubbed the back of his head with his hand, not knowing what to say next. He had only memorized so many lines...if Ally said the wrong thing, he'd have to speak in English, and his whole proposal would be ruined. _Note to self:_ _never listen to Dez again_.

Ally opened her mouth to say something, but in a panic, Austin stops her. "_Madame Ally, __J'ai une question._"

Ally raised her eyebrows, waiting for him to say something. Austin quickly and sneakily placed his hand over his right pocket, ready to take out his ring he had ordered specially for Ally — he was ready to get married to her.

"Um..." she muttered, lifting her finger to say something; but Austin had come too far to be interrupted now. "_C'est bon_," he repeats, an inapproate answer, but it was the only phrase he could think of — not to mention one of the only phrases he had memorized — but he seemed to have gotten Ally's attention again. He didn't know why she looked guilty, but Austin decided to continue.

"_Ally Dawson, Je t'aime. Je t'aime beaucoup. Je vous ai rencontré quand nous étions quinze, et j'ai été en amour avec vous depuis. Je veux passer le reste de ma vie avec vous. Veux-tu m'épouser_?"

He waited for an answer, his huge hand resting on his pocket, waiting for an answer. Ally opened and closed her mouth a few times, obviously speechless; Austin hoped that was a good thing. Was she thinking about how much she loved him? How much she wanted to marry him, just like he wanted to marry her.

"Austin..." Ally says, smiling, and Austin began to take the ring box out of his pocket. "I'm sure what you said was sweet, but..."

Austin could literally see his plan crumbling around him.

"But I have no idea what you just said."

* * *

**Sneak into her home and fill it to the rafters with balloons and/or flowers. Place a teddy bear in the middle, holding the ring and a note asking her to marry you.**

_This one is going to work._

There was no way anyone could mess it up. After two weeks of self-taught French lessons, he knew it had to be something that Ally would understand. So for the past month or two, Austin had been helping out his neighbors in the apartment complex where he and Ally lived to earn some extra money; now he had enough to buy enough balloons and followers to fill up Sonic Boom.

He didn't feel like making a mess in his apartment, because then he'd have to clean it up, but some people would help him in Sonic Boom. Austin had kept this a secret for a couple of weeks now — Lester didn't even know about it. Not even Dez — because we all know how _that_ ended — but he was sure that this one was going to work.

After he asked Lester politely to stay in the other room for a few hours, Austin led the truck near the entrance and helped the man bring all the balloons and decorations into the store. Austin took the privilege to bring the teddy bear inside; this teddy bear had a note in his hand, reading "Will you marry me?" and a ring in the other one. This time, Austin wouldn't lose the ring — that was a long story — but he was sure that this plan would work.

"Thanks, dude," he told the worker as he left. Austin took a deep breath and sat down on the piano seat, waiting for Ally to walk through the doors. A few hours ago, he had texted his girlfriend to come to Sonic Boom at a specific time, so Ally would be arriving any second now.

"All right, this is it," he muttered to himself. There was no way Ally could miss this one. She wasn't looking away from the sky, there wasn't any other terms she could guess, and she didn't have to understand French. All she had to do was open her luck (and with Austin's luck, Ally might have forgotten her glasses.)

Austin saw a figure from the corner of his eyes around the corner; he stood up, straightened his tie, and waited for her to walk in; but his heart plummeted to the pit of his chest as he saw Penny, Ally's mother, walk in Sonic Boom instead.

Not only did the wrong person come, but she was alone. Penny seemed to ignore Austin as he looked around the corner, searching for his girlfriend to be somewhere; unfortunately, there wasn't a girl with brown eyes, brown hair with caramel highlights and the prettiest face Austin had ever seen. He sighed exasperatedly, walking back into the shop. He hoped he hadn't texted the wrong woman...

"Penny, what's wrong?" he questioned, thinking that she would become his mother-in-law in a matter of seconds, depending on when Ally came in. Austin hoped that she wasn't mad that the store was covered in balloons and decorations, but when Penny didn't respond yet again, Austin waved his hand in front of her face, but she pushed it down with force.

"Stop that, young man," she snapped; Austin didn't know why she was so mad. He was just about to ask, when Penny walked over to the counter where Austin placed the teddy bear, grabbed it by its neck and walked into the room where Lester was sitting.

"LESTER!" She screamed, and Austin face-palmed. Penny had taken this as if Lester was proposing to her, which really didn't make any sense; but Ally was saying that her mother had been lonely recently, looking for a new husband and/or boyfriend, but she didn't seem so happy that Lester — apparently — proposed to her.

"What?" Austin heard Lester return. "What could you be so mad about?!"

"This!" she screamed, and he saw Penny shove the teddy bear in Lester's face. Lester didn't know anything about Austin's proposal, so he wouldn't know that this was an attempt for Austin to propose to Ally — _great. Just great_.

Austin ran into the room where they were to interrupt them and clear the controversy up; but Lester and Penny were too caught up in their argument to notice him running in.

"What do you mean, '_this_'? It's a teddy bear with a note saying _Will you marry me_ — oooooh..." Lester seemed to come to a sudden realization. "Oh, Penny, I didn't —"

"Does this mean you're still in love with me?!" she boomed, throwing the teddy bear on the ground, and Austin screamed. His precious proposal, the one he had worked on for weeks, was being stomped on yet again. What could Austin be doing wrong?

Lester took a deep breath, and Austin turned away when he saw Penny stomping on his teddy bear. Before Austin could speak, though, Lester decided to come clean he had apparently been keeping inside for years. "Well, Penny, this seems like a really odd place to confess, but I've been in love with you ever since we got divorced. I've always wanted to tell you, and even that though that teddy bear isn't — it wasn't — I didn't — well, anyway, I guess now's the best time to tell you that I've always been in love with you."

"What?" Penny asked, and her guard dropped immediately. His head in his hands, Austin tried to listen to Penny and Lester's conversation, even though he could only hear bits and pieces of the ex-spouses making up. He tried to keep looking at the door, hoping to see _Ally_, the person who was _supposed_ to be proposed to, but she didn't come through. As much as he wanted to, Austin didn't have the heart to break apart Penny and Lester.

Just then, Ally walked in. Austin smiled brightly and walked over to her, but she was too awestruck by all the balloons in the store. "What's all this?" she asked, jumping up to grab a purple balloon that was sitting above the counter, where the teddy bear was supposed to be.

"Oh, nothing," Austin muttered bitterly. "Just broken hopes and dreams."

Ally gave him a confused look, but right then, Penny and Lester walked through the door and Penny grabbed Ally's shoulders and laughed. "What's up, mom?" Ally asked, and Penny looked the most happiest she had ever been. They announced that they were getting married — Austin's plan had failed yet again.

_Of course._

* * *

**Write "Will you marry me?" in chalk on the street outside her house or apartment in big letters.**

He decided that this would be the last straw. If this didn't work...he didn't know what he would do.

So the first thing Austin did was go out and buy chalk. He had to do a lot of persuading to have Lester give him back the ring, but at least he didn't have to buy another one. Austin waited for Ally to cook dinner, so she wouldn't be looking out the window, and when she did, he ran outside, grabbed the chalk, and sat down outside their apartment.

He grabbed an assortment of colors; red, orange, green, blue, purple, pink, brown. He wrote the phrase, traced over it, outlined it, made it look nice. He smiled at his artwork, ran upstairs, and without a word, grabbed Ally's arm and dragged her to to the door. He commanded her to close her eyes, and Ally did as she was told.

"Austin, what's going on?" she asked worriedly, but he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder to assure her that everything would be okay. "All right, Ally, are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" she laughed; just then, a clap of thunder echoed throughout the sky. Austin's heart started pounding out of his chest; could _another_ one of his proposals be ruined?

"All right, honey, come on outside," Austin said quickly, trying to rush her outside before the rain washed away his chalk sentence. But, of course, as soon as he opened the door, rain started to pour from the sky.

_Oh, Florida_, he thought bitterly. "AUSTIN!" Ally screamed, opening her eyes, trying to cover herself in the rain. "WHY DID YOU TELL ME TO COME OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN?!" She had to scream to be heard over the rain.

In Ally's panic, Austin looked over at his chalk, now dripping down the sidewalk onto the lawn in front of their apartment. Austin just officially gave up; he groaned, sat down on the sidewalk, and placed his head in his hands.

"AUSTIN!" Ally screamed again. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LET'S GET OUT OF THIS RAIN!"

"NO!" He screamed, realizing that he was too far in to give up now. Even though he wanted his proposal to be special, not like any other guy, if he really wanted to be married to Ally, he'd have to do it the traditional way; it seemed like everything had been leading up to that.

"WHAT?" Ally questioned, but Austin grabbed her wrist so she would stay on the sidewalk. He reached for the ring inside his pocket; the beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful ring that would finally find a home on Ally's finger.

"OKAY..." he said, not even knowing how to do this. He wasn't one for simple. Austin Moon liked to be eccentric...normal didn't come naturally to him. "OKAY... ALLY DAWSON, YOU ARE THE MOST AMAZINGLY, ASTOUNDING, WONDERFUL GIRL — WOMAN — THAT I'VE EVER KNOWN. AND I — I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

With rain pounding on their heads, Austin opened the ring box to present the diamond. Ally gasped and covered her mouth; Austin had never been happier to see Ally so shocked. At the same time, he was shocked himself; he didn't say another word. He waited for Ally's reaction; and the first thing she did was scream and jump and kiss him.

Their lips touched for a while, and when he finally pulled back, Ally said with tears streaming down her face: "IS THAT WHY YOU'VE BEEN SO DISTRESSED THIS PAST MONTH?"

Austin nodded, and they kissed again. He already knew that her answer was a yes; but Austin could not be happier. None of his special proposals had worked...but feeling Ally's mouth on his, their hands tangled in their hair, Austin could definitely label this as his #1 Happiest Moment in his Life.


End file.
